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Showing articles in Dad in the Box
Super Bowl Ex-lax
January 28, 2015
If I hear one more story about the “deflate-gate” Super Bowl controversy, I am going to puke. Enough already.&nb...
Dude No More
January 22, 2015
Sir, I think you are next. I was spacing out at a crowded deli counter the other day thinking about something really important tha...
The True Meaning of January
January 8, 2015
There is no better way to kick off the New Year than by throwing away an elf. As part of my post-holiday tradition, I went to the ...
December 18, 2014
I was shocked to learn that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer has been flying on network television as a holiday special for 50 years.&nb...
Zero Dark Thursday
November 25, 2014
Dinner is not a contact sport. So occasionally proclaims my wife when our hungry kids forcefully jockey for position over serving ...
November 12, 2014
One of the side benefits of going to school is learning. I have two kids in high school and I am learning stuff from them al...
October 30, 2014
If you ask me, the scariest stories are those that are true. Like this one. It was a night not unlike this, in these ver...
October 15, 2014
Recently I attended a 70th high school reunion. For those of you working out the math as you read this, let me assure you that thi...
Jump Frog, Jump
October 1, 2014
Dissecting animals in the name of science is a barbaric act that should not be imposed on high school freshmen. It is probably not...
September 18, 2014
Where’s the remote? Watching television in our house is like playing Russian Roulette, especially when nothing good is on.&n...
August 28, 2014
I told myself I wouldn’t get all teary-eyed and sentimental when I dropped my son off at college and said farewell. An...
The Watching Dead
August 8, 2014
Now that the doldrums of August are upon us, my kids are having difficulty filling their waking hours with productive activities. ...
July 25, 2014
On a dreary winter day in 1876, Alexander Graham Bell, experimenting with a newly patented voice transmission device in his laboratory...
Particularly Well Suited
July 10, 2014
A father should never take his teenage daughter shopping. You see, something happened to my daughter in the number of months since...
My World Cup Runneth Over
June 26, 2014
The recent World Cup Football (pronounced soccer) match between Portugal and the US was one of the most highly watched events in ESPN ...
May 15, 2014
There are lots of things I don’t understand. But I am particularly puzzled by the popularity of YouTube cat videos. Ma...
Grooms Head Revisited
April 23, 2014
I take you to be my lawfully wedded wife . . . My wedding anniversary is coming up. I am not sure what to give my wife. I a...
Survival of the Trimmest
April 1, 2014
My younger son experienced his first shave the other day. He is fourteen and starting to show faint shading above his lip. ...
My Digital Demise
March 13, 2014
According to the news, which I can’t seem to escape, I have no privacy. Information is being gathered about me, legally and ...
Sleeping With Oscar
February 28, 2014
SCENE I. From a television set in New Jersey an image of a golden statue rotates slowly on a pedestal while a honey-throated ann...
Smoking the Half Pipe
February 12, 2014
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to plunge into an Olympic halfpipe on a snowboard? Have you ever wondered what it w...
On The Fence
January 30, 2014
Living in New Jersey, I don’t know who to root for on Super Bowl Sunday: the Denver Broncos, the Seattle Seahawks, or the weathe...
Your Father's Snow Day
January 24, 2014
5:30 AM. Annoying alarm. Warm bed. Hit snooze. 5:40 AM. Annoying alarm. Warm bed. Hit snooze. 5:...
The Cold Hard Facts
January 8, 2014
Silly me. I always thought the Polar Vortex was something husbands step into when they forget their wedding anniversaries. I...
The Long Way Home
December 24, 2013
‘Twas a week before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring . . . not even my teenage s...